No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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