South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
