Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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