i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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