i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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