I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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