All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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