quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
