Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
