We're facebook friends in real life
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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