it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
