Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
