i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
