You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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