even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
