you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
