Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
