yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
