they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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