I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
