I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
