i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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