I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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