that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
