whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
