Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
