If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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