are you so shy because you have an std?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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