I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
