one might say we're banned from that church
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
