hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
