don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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