I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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