listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize