How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
