My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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