I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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