spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
