yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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