he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize