I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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