Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
