Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
