By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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