i don't like sucking hair
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize