I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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