could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
