Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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