Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
