If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
