...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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