So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
