I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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