What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
