Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
