I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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