Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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