And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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