...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
