I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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