i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
