i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
