North Korea, Best Korea!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
