I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
