my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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