also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
