we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
